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Personalized Safety Plan Although I do not have control over what my partner does, and cannot always expect to predict a violent incident, I do have choices about how to respond, and I can take steps I've checked off and do the things I've listed, to get my children and myself to safety. 1. In a crisis, I can do some or all of the following things: ~ LEAVE If I decide to do this, I will have prepared by practicing getting my children and myself out safely. I will identify a number of "ways out," for example: doors, windows, elevators, stairwells, and fire escapes. I can keep some money and a spare set of car keys in ________________________, so I can get to them quickly in an emergency. I can leave spare keys, copies of important papers, clothes and things for my children with ________________________ or ________________________, who will keep them for me or bring them to me if I need them. If I decide to leave, I already know I can go to ________________________, because I have already talked this over with them. If for some reason I cannot get to the places I have named, I can go to ________________________. If it is not safe to talk openly, I will use ____________________, as the code word/signal to my children that we are going to go, or to my family/friends so they will understand that I am coming. ~ GET HELP I can use ____________________, as the code word/signal to my children and/or friends and family, to let them know I want someone to call the police. I can tell ________________________, about the violence, and ask them to call the police if they hear trouble or see anything suspicious. If I have a programmable telephone, I can program emergency numbers into my telephone, and teach my children how to use the "auto dial." I can teach my children how to contact the police and fire department. I will make sure they can give their address. ~ TRUST MY INSTINCTS AND USE GOOD JUDGMENT If you feel that a situation may be escalating to the
point of abuse/violence: 2. If I am thinking about leaving or planning to leave I can: TALK TO A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROGRAM AND GET HELP MAKING MY PLANS: The hotline number for the nearest program is ________________________. I can keep change for phone calls and important numbers with me at all times. I will remember that my partner could learn whom I have been talking to by looking at phone bills. I can see if friends will let me use their phones and/or their phone credit cards, so that I can keep my communications confidential. I can sit down and review my plan with ________________________, or ________________________, every ____________________. Without adding to their fears, and helping them to feel more in control, I will share parts of the plan with my children and practice parts of it with them. I can do this as "fire drills" and "emergency" plans. I can build my independence by: opening a bank account in my own name; getting credit cards in my own name; taking classes or getting job skills, getting copies of all the important papers and documents I might need, and keeping them with ________________________. Other things I can do to become more independent are:
_________________________________________________ 3. Safety at home and at work I can change the locks on doors and windows. As I find the resources, I can also: install a security system, motion sensitive lights, smoke detectors, install window guards, and steel/metal doors. I can change my patterns: avoid stores, banks, doctor's appointments, laundromats and ____________________, places where my partner might expect to find me. I can tell the people who take care of my children the names of people who have my permission to pick them up, and make sure they recognize those people. I can give the people who take care of my children copies of custody and protective orders, and emergency numbers. I can tell ________________________, and ________________________, and ________________________, and ____________________, that I am no longer living with my partner, and ask them to call the police if they believe my children or I am in any danger. I can ask ________________________, to help screen my calls at work. I can tell my supervisor; the Employee Assistance Program, and ________________________, about my situation. On public transportation, I can be ready to __________________________________________________________ 4. Getting a protective order I can request an order of protection, from the Family Court or the local Criminal Court. I can get help from the local Domestic Violence program in making the decision; I can go to ________________________, for legal assistance. I will keep a copy of my order with me at all times. I can give a copy to ________________________, and ________________________, and will make sure the local police department has a copy. If I decide I need changes in my protective order (say, I feel safe enough to try letting my partner into the home for visitations, but the order is a "stay away" order"; or, things are worse, and I now want a "stay away" provision), I will go to the court and ask for a modification. 5. Taking care of myself I will take a look at how and when I drink or use drugs. If I am going to drink or use drugs, I will do it in a place where people are committed to my safety. I will make a plan to get gynecological checkups and regular screening for breast cancer. I will take better care of myself by ________________________, and ________________________, and ________________________, and ________________________. If I am feeling down, and considering returning to a situation that might still be dangerous, I can ____________________ or talk to ________________________, or ________________________, or spend time with ________________________. When I am feeling down about myself, I can remember
three things that are really quite fine about me. They are: I can attend support groups, workshops or classes at ________________________, or ________________________, or ________________________, to help me gain confidence and build stronger ties to people. 6. Things to take
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